I've just nicked these from another Blog which I stumbled across, they're quite amusing.
David James: "I'm not available right now so please leave ...damn, just dropped the phone..."
Wayne Rooney: "I'm at me gran's right now, leave a message I'll get back to you in 3 minutes
Harry Kewell - "Harry was on his way to the phone but has broken down after getting up out of his seat"
Sven G.E - "Hello Nancy, I forgot to set my alarm clock"
Rio Ferdinand "Hello it's errrr....Oh yeh R..R...Rio what ..Forgot to oh errrmmm !"
Graeme Souness: "I'm not in at the moment, Freddie. Please call back at the end of the season and stop blocking the line. If it's Michael Owen, give two rings and hang up. I'll call straight back."
Gerard Houllier: "I'm not in at the moment. Please leave an excuse after the tone."
Alex Ferguson: "I can't hear this call, because I'm wearing a gray shirt. Please leave 3 European Cups after the tone."
David Moyes: "I'm not in the Champions League at the moment. Please leave me some hope."
Arsene Wenger: "The phone may have rung but I was too far away to notice the incident. Veuillez laisser un message après la tonalité"
Rick Parry: "If that's Michael Owen please leave a message after the 'toon"
Mick McCarthy "Mick can't get to the phone at the moment he's stuck to the bottom of the table"
Sam Allardyce: "Only leave a message if you have played for a top European side, or are over 30 years old."
Peter Kenyon: "If you're a player I've illegally tapped up please call back don't leave a message as it may be used against me."
Jose Mourinho: "You have rang the number of The Special One. Who are you? Are you important enough to speak to me? If not, how dare you call me, ring off immediately, do not waste my time which is precious. If you're Mr Abramovich, I will call you back at once. If you're Didier Drogba, go and.........' (tape runs out